Table Rock Lake—In a surprising turn of events, the Showboat Branson Belle has tied up with local party boats at the popular “party cove”. According to witnesses, the pirates located some wicked dance music and pumped it to the crowds as they idled into the worry-free zone of questionable behavior, meeting no resistance.
Seclusion, good weather, abundant food, friendly and sympathetic locals, ease of defense, long distance views, and shallow waters (where larger ships could not navigate) were all factors considered in claiming party cove as the new Pirate Cove or pirate hideout/stronghold.
Authorities claim the TRL (Table Rock Lake) party cove the oldest established permanent floating bacchanal in the county. Missouri Water Patrol historically limits the policing of the cove to violations of wake restrictions, and boat driving violations and Boating While Intoxicated summons. Considerations are now being given to limit piracy within the Missouri General Assembly.
One pirate, when approached for comment, screamed in a half Somoli, half fake pirate voice “take ye clothes off matie! Er, ye be swimmin’ in davy jones locker.” He was immediately rewarded with a decorative plastic bead necklace. “Dey like dat one,” he said smiling then drank a swig of Pabst Blue Ribbon canned beer.
This marks the first time the Showboat Branson Belle has been tethered to party cove and all Showboat audience members appeared to be having a good time while under Somali pirate control in the newly named Pirate Cove.
Filed Under: Crime