Pirates Captured at Bearded Clam

Kimberling City, MO—Seven Somali pirates were captured yesterday by Dutch naval forces, who also freed 80 captive audience members of the Showboat Branson Belle, Missouri Water Patrol officials say.

The Dutch forces followed the pirates, who had launched a successful attack on the Showboat Branson Belle, as they docked at the popular Table Rock Lake eatery the Bearded Clam, Kate Davies of NATO’s Maritime Component Command Headquarters in Branson, Missouri told FCN.

Once the Showboat Branson Belle was found, pirates lead authorities to the pirate mother ship in Pirate Cove, formerly known as party cove. The Dutch forces captured all armed pirates and freed 80 local kidnapped audience members.

Audience member Kenny Doitagin said, “Our hosts were great, they left us to our selves for the most part and when push came to shove they stood up for us and our sense of well being.When we ran out of supplies they said we’re ‘going on a rum run’ and we ended up at the ‘Clam” Doitagin showed signs of remorse and pain as he sang an old pirate tribute song as he walked away.

Dutch authorities said they intensified their efforts after the Somali/Ozark pirates filed an anti-copyright case against The Pirate Bay for false representation. Vars van der Sollum, Dutch lead investigator said, “these pirates are a nuisance to most everyone.”

The pirates who were once stationed in Somolia who relocated to the Ozarks and captured the Showboat Branson Belle, then tied up at party cove and filed suit against The Pirate Bay are expected to stand trial sometime this summer.

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