Springfield – General Motors Corporation said it completed its $540 million merger with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studios today and informed most employees that they have lost union representation but gained another “G” and two “M”s to their company name.
Local GMC dealer Thompson Buick Pontiac GMC Cadillac Saab representative said, “so…I guess we move our fleet of cars and trucks to the Campbell 16? This isn’t the bailout we were expecting.”
“Legally, GM doesn’t exist anymore,” said chairman and CEO Rick Wagoner, “but MGMGM does!” He said the merger was completed officially at 8:30 A.M., about six hours after Justice John Paul Stevens of the Supreme Court issued an order vacating
a lower court’s injunction blocking the merger of auto and movie maker giants.
The move completes a plan to save GM stock prices and escape the failing auto industry. Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, said, “this represents the kind of ingenuity we saw in the MGM release “Valkyrie”; GM saw an opportunity to make things better and in the end, was ultimately deemed a valiant failure by the Western world.”
Feature films currently slated for production include: Junkyard Millionaire, The Thin Black Line, State of the Union – a story about organized workers taking down an industry giant. Current negotiations are underway to purchase the rights to
Harvey the Love Bug to be remade as Volt the Electric Car.
When reached for comment MGM chairman & chief executive officer Harry E. Sloan said he looks forward to “animated cartoons featuring picketing auto line workers before each new MGMGM release.”
Filed Under: Economy