“Man, I could sell tickets to this event. It’s like a free demolition derby out here. Watching vehicles with not too quick drivers try and squeeze under this overpass is worth the price of admission, which right now is free. But I could sell tickets to this event,” says local homeless man Streeter McCord.
The city installed 16-foot-wide “low clearance” signs on either side of the underpass in January 2006, yet vehicles continue to become wedged below the overpass built in 1910. “So, what your saying is there is another one stuck out there? What the crap is going on, people? The signs are sixteen feet wide,” said an exhausted Joanie Hampton, SPD traffic officer.
“Boy, I thought I could make it. I think if I were going faster the wind velocity would push my rig down tight against the asphalt and I could squeeze under,” pondered recent stuck truck driver Kirk Sadler, “Lemme back up and try it again, c’mon.”
The sign company who manufactured the signs said they measured the height before printing the 11’ 6” signs and confirmed that indeed the height remained 6’ 11”. When pressed for further details, the company said, “our company policy is to measure once, cut twice. And, yes our founder, Abe Chisletooth did have a mild case of dyslexia.”
The City plans to keep the signs in place and perhaps sell tickets to watch the traffic attempt to clear the overpass. “We could use the additional revenue,” said Greg Burris, City Manager.
“What? Hey man, that was my idea,” said Streeter McCord.
Filed Under: Traffic