Lebanon, MO—Two people from Lebanon have been asked to light their heads on fire after police say they tried to drive home with three kids stuffed in a car trunk. Investigators say Cindy Feltner, 21, and Dustin McDonald, 18, were dumb enough to make a terrible mistake once, so they are likely to do it again.
Both face first-degree felony child endangerment charges, however, most people would prefer that they be publically humiliated rather than face child endangerment charges.
“We would prefer if the suspects would simply light their own head on fire while running on a treadmill for 8 hours. Oh, and they should have shocking electronic nodes connected to their nipples too,” said Camdenton Police Chief Laura Wright.
“I can’t believe people would do that to children, I bet they are more than stupid enough to light their heads on fire, or place them in an over, or a microwave,” said Lucille Hollins, possibly the nicest person in Lebanon.
Local companies are chipping in to help prevent future acts of child endangerment in the area. Independent Stave Co has offered to donate several barrels to throw at the two individuals and Chicago Cutlery has donated several rusty knives to line the offender’s underwear as they run the treadmill.
Filed Under: Crime