Springfield, MO—Police have issued the following prose in order to catch the thief that Hobby Lobby does oppose. According to police, the Hobby Lobby on Kearney Street was blindsided by a woman, a cheat.
She was spotted emptying her purse in the trunk of her car, then entered the store—step one for the burglar. After browsing the store at her leisure snapping up loot, she reportedly exited the door with a great pussyfoot. Stone cold chillin’ she’d bet the farm, then the perp set off the store alarm.
Noises a blazin’, managers ragin’, the thief was met at the door and started speakin’ Cajun. “Bag daer alohrs pas beb,” she said, knowing full well this was how she made bread. Her fate was sealed; she scrapped her way out to beat facing the shield. A punch to the arm the manager said, kept him at bay and filled him with “dread”.
Filed Under: Crime