Loud Bang Caused By CU “Bang” Machine

CU has a new Bang Machine that sounds like this image

Springfield, MO—A loud bang near Weaver and Golden was caused by City Utilities’ new “bang” machine.

City Utilities maintains that the machine is operating properly and is in no way malfunctioning. “We purchased a 100 million dollar bang machine because our customers need to hear a spectacular noise from time to time. Who else is going to provide this type of emotion to everyday life? We need to prove to our customers that we are working hard everyday and this machine is one simple, expensive, loud reminder that we are there for them,” pontificated CU spokesman Joel Alexander

Several people near Weaver Road and Golden Avenue reported hearing an explosion, but there was no fire and no gas present, according to Alexander.

“I’m uhm, well stunned that our community has this new, uhm bang machine… I guess we really need this in Springfield because if we didn’t well, we wouldn’t have any way to track what our electric provider is doing….right?” pondered CU customer Eddie Gumphrey.

The cost of the new bang machine will be subsidized by bus fares. Customers who use Level Pay for their utility bills should see a slight increase of $1,000 per month to cover the new auditory reminding mechanism.