Auditions For Reality Show Coming to Dade County

Housewives prepare to audition for Bravo TV's Real Housewives Dade Co.

Greenfield, MO—Bravo TV has announced plans for a new reality series to be filmed in the Ozarks.  Auditions for “The Real Housewives of Dade County” will be held on January 22 at the Opera House in Greenfield.

According to a spokesman, Bravo TV was drawn towards Dade County as a way to grow the “Real Housewives” franchise.  “Currently there isn’t much ‘real’ about our housewives”, says producer Brian Matchnik.  “According to our research, the center of domestic realism lands squarely in Dade County”.

While initial reaction to the announcement has been mixed, Presiding Commissioner Kevin Hughes has rolled out the welcome wagon.  “This show could introduce the country to the real Dade County. We’re not as rural as the stereotypes suggest. And since we recently banned cock fighting outside of church fundraisers, we could really use the additional tourism revenue.”

Helen Oaks isn’t as excited.  As recording secretary for the Dade County Apron Alliance, Oaks sees the show as a threat to her county’s core values.  “I’ve seen this type of show, what with the jiggling and the waxing,” Oaks said. “Our housewives don’t need those silly distractions.  We have our kids, husbands and feral cats to tend to.”

The format of the show will be very similar to the existing “Housewives” shows.  “We’re looking for a diverse group of women, although we understand that ethnically, socially, and politically that probably won’t happen”, explained Matchnik.  “What we’re hoping for is a cast that includes women of different heights, maybe slightly different shades of brown hair. We feel diversity can be attained via spray tanning and hair extensions.”

Those interested in auditioning should bring a video of their family that includes a tour of their home, boat, and RV (recent appearances on Wife Swap accepted). Visits by the Bravo production staff will include a drug test, but results will only be shared in the extreme case that it benefits the plot. The final 5 housewives will be announced on April 9 with production to begin shortly after, coordinating with the start of tankini season at Stockton Lake.

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