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Icelandic Volcano Affects Ozarks

Volcanic ash affects Ozarkers' lives, kind of

Volcanic ash affects Ozarkers' lives, kind of

Springfield, MO—According to reports, Ozarkers have been severely affected by the volcanic eruption in Iceland. Several SGFers have claimed the eruption as a disruption in their daily lives.

“I was a model husband until that volacano erupted, since then I’ve had three mistrissess and my infidelity sees no end,” said Robert Geohorn. “My fried chicken never tasted so bad,” said Holly Kimmer, “since that volcano blew, I’ve had to eat out more because my cooking isn’t what it used to be.”

Doctor Hemmingway Ritzel says that people tend to focus on world events to validate their irresponsible behavior, no matter if a connection exists or not. “Some twisted individuals will lean upon catastrophic events to shield their unruly actions,” said Ritzel.

“Once I heard the volcano erupted in Greenland, I went on a robbery spree because I thought that I had to stock up on goods for the long winter,” said Raul Lopezenthal. When he was informed the volcano was actually in Iceland not Greenland, Lopezenthal said, “no wonder we didn’t get a total blackout of the sun!”

Minor reports of missing homework, tax omissions, driving without a CDL and double parking have been reported due to the ash cloud covering the globe.

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  1. Allen Marsh says:

    Raul Lopezenthal is a great name…