Local Pervs Devastated by Boobquake Fail

Pervs include Twin 1, Big Jim, Chub, Twin 2

By Snawt T. Buble

Springfield, MO—Not everyone is breathing a sigh of relief now that the planet has been spared the predicted boobquake. Local authorizes have arrested three local perverts, Big Jim and the Twins and another person of interest named Chub for allegedly pitching a tent within 50’ of the entrance to Victoria’s Secret at the Battlefield Mall.

All parties told FCN, “We just wanted to be at the epicenter of the boobquake and it sure seemed like Vickie’s Secret was the place to be.” They went on, “The prime locations at Hooter’s were already taken so we figured we’d take our chances here.”

The pervwizards are no strangers to trouble. A spokesperson for the Greene County Prosecutor, speaking on condition of anonymity, told FCN, “These pervtastic guys pop up all the time.” The end-of-time boobquake predicted by an Iranian cleric set off near world-wide panic except for this very small handful of devotee’s.

Big Jim and the Twins told FCN, “It is hard enough to get up for these things, but when it turned out to be a nothing but a big bust, we were very let down.” Chub added, “Yea, I have only imagined what those peaks must look like, now I will just have to keep on dreaming about it.” While no damage has been reported from the boobquake, authorities are investigating an up-surge in reports of mild to severe whiplash and sprained necks at area hospitals.

levitra online Keeping the instrument cleaned and daily maintained can help you treat the condition. It has positive effects buy cialis on the sex drive also. Q: getting viagra miamistonecrabs.com? A: The most common side-effects that have been observed in some people. viagra active Enhanced levels of testosterone increase the blood flow to the male organ.