Mannish Hula Dancer Lures Unsuspecting Customers
FairCityNews.com | Aug 16, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield siren lures customers to crash their vehicles
Springfield, MO—For 24 years, a local frozen treat wagon has employed a hauntingly mannish hula dancer, with enchanting dance moves and gyrations, to lure passing drivers to stop and purchase “whips” to nosh upon after the distracted drivers wreck their vehicles.
According to lore, the dancing hula man-thing has distracted thousand of drivers to the point of collision, just as the Roman poets spoke of the Sirens; seductresses who lured sailors to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island.
Humphrey Killow, an SPD traffic officer said, “yes, the hula dancer is a ‘siren’ of Springfield. Especially when the heat increases. Drivers are hot and desperately looking for relief. When they see the shaking hips they think it is a beautiful Hawaiian woman beckoning then in for a frozen treat, however, once a motorist approaches close enough to see the dancer’s face, they usually freak out and crash their automobile in horror.”
Crashing cars in parking lots seems to be an effective strategy for the frozen treat wagons. Most crashes necessitate vehicle repairs and a call to a towing service, leaving stranded drivers with several minutes or hours to wait for help—most, if not all, will purchase a tropical frozen dessert as they wait for a wrecker.
Timothy Ujim confessed, “I drove my car right into two parked cars at the Pineapple Whip. At first I thought it was the flyin’ Hawaiian Troy Polamalu, I was so excited that he endorsed the Pineapple Whip! While I waited for help, I had the orange, grape and the pineapple-strawberry-kiwi twist flavors.”
AAA motor club has identified three dangerous locations in the Springfield, MO area for drivers to avoid: 1309 S. Glenstone, Republic Road and Fremont, and 2536 N. Kansas, across from the Library Station.
Filed Under: Food
