Superman’s Fortress Appears Near Hammons’ Tower

The Fortress of Solitude appears in Jordan Valley Park

Springfield, MO—Due to global warming, Superman’s Fortress of Solitude has begun to appear at the Commons Park at National Street and Trafficway. The spiky fortress peaks began to appear last week and city leaders are worried that the appearance will delay the development of the new park touted as the gateway to Jordan Valley.

“I saw the ground shake, then these wicked sharp ice-cycles started to pierce the Earth. They thrust up into the sky and it was at that point that I realized that we were seeing something supernatural,” said Jacob Newmans, a hot dog vendor for the Springfield Cardinals.

The Springfield Police Department has expressed concern over the surfacing, given that the fortress was previously a well-kept secret known only to Superman’s closest friends such as Lois Lane and Batman.

The Fortress was originally created by a crystal that Jor-El enclosed in Kal-El’s aka, Superman’s spaceship. The lair contains numerous “memory crystals” that can be used to access Jor-El’s artificial intelligence and hologram, interactive holographic recordings, and other Kryptonians, as well as a chamber that uses red sun radiation to strip Kryptonians of their super powers.

Public officials are worried that these otherworldly resources will be accessed by unscrupulous, nefarious criminal minds if they are not protected. As a precaution, a neighborhood watch has been assembled to identify General Zod, Ursa, Non or Lex Luthor should they appear and try to access the fortress.

City officials say the park development will continue and will only be mildly delayed.

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