Springfield, MO – The Springfield-Greene County Botanical Center opened this month to a resounding “AAAACHHHOOOOO.” The Center was dedicated Monday, October 11, 2010, to moderate applause and a large round of sneezing from allergy sufferers. Located at 2400 South Scenic, the facility features classroom space, a two-story atrium, gift shops, and a Butterfly House. The construction of the Botanical Center was made possible by sales taxes, grants, and private donations from Zyrtec, Claritin, Sudafed, and Friends of the Garden.
When asked what she thought about the new attraction, local college student and ecology major Mary Jane Potts was quoted as saying: “It is a lovely facility with a very knowledgeable staff, but it makes my eyes very itchy.” Eighty-five year-old tour guide Mabel Pitkin states: “We have complimentary tissues and eye drops for those poor souls who like to enjoy nature, but are also distressed by it.”
The opening celebrations included costumed guides as it is close to Halloween and most employees already had costumes. When asked if the Botanical Center dressed him, a younger volunteer who was dressed as a large nose and identified himself as “Sniffles” confirmed he had picked his costume himself. When asked what he heard people saying during the grand-opening week, Sniffles simply said “Gesundheit.”
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