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Missouri Farmers Start Elderberry Craze with “What the Hell is An Elderberry Festival”

What the hell is this berry?

Springfield, MO – Trying to start new enthusiasm for elderberries, local farmers are headlining a new festival to celebrate the Missouri fruit.  The “What the Hell is An Elderberry Festival” will show Missourians all the great uses of elderberries as well as what the hell they are.  The many booths will be entitled “Elderberry Wine,” “Elderberry Yogurt,” and “This is What an Elderberry is…Just Look at It.”

“We are very excited,” said John Parkson, a local farmer.  “I have known what the hell elderberries have been for years, since I have been harvesting them forever, but many people need the experience.  They are like Ozark Ambrosia.”

The festival is also for younger ages.  The festival will offer many kid games such as elderberry picking, elderberry eating, and that’s about it.  There is also a child-themed mascot Eldy.

“Eldy is a grumpy old berry with a cane and sour disposition.  The kids are going to love him,” stated Chance Rogers, the festival director.

The Elderberry festival is not the first time that local farmers tried to make the berry more popular.  During World War II they renamed the berries “victory berries,” but it was a dismal failure when the news broke that it was Hitler’s favorite fruit.

The festival will be held this Saturday at Elderberry Farm. To find where the hell it is, go to www.whatthehellisanelderberry.com.

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  1. Allen Marsh says:

    Victory berries! Classic story. Whoever wrote this deserves to be hugged.

  2. Debby says:

    So what you’re saying is that they are not really old berries?

  3. FairCityNews.com says:

    Touché.

  4. FairCityNews.com says:

    Ship a hug back to the Ozarks, I’ll see that it gets delivered properly.