Springfield, MO—Attempts to clean out boiler pipes of any debris at the new Southwest 2 Power Plant have local residents snickering every time a steady hiss of steam erupts from the plant. “I guess the natural gas they are using in the boiler needs a way out, too bad it is so loud, like a 7.4 on the Rectum scale,” said one nearby resident, Yadi Flatus.
The plant is scheduled to conduct a dozen or more jet-propulsion kabooms a day as various sections of its metallic colon are blasted clear of debris. The roaring turd honk sound likely will be heard in several neighborhoods, across may miles, and a tall plume of steam will reach skyward indicating visually that the $697 million structure is blowing the butt bugle.
“When I first heard it, I thought SW2 was blowing up, little did I know that it was actually an ass-plosion on the most grand of scales,” said Doris Floof, who has lived in the area for 45 years. “After four years of construction, I expected a huge announcement but you could not have told me that the public power generator would be shooting off mud ducks for us,” she said.
The colon blows will blast out any nuts, bolts, eyeglasses, gloves or other foreign materials that may have been accidently left inside the boiler pipes during assembly. “I know how that feels,” said Flatus, “once I ate cashew chicken for a week straight and I needed a good cleansing of foreign materials 2-3 times a day.”
Filed Under: Technology