Man completes shopping without going to mall

Springfield MO – The friends and family of Springfield resident John Dinkleman were shocked recently when he proudly announced that he had finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago without having setting foot in the Battlefield Mall.  “Yep, it’s true.”, boasted Dinkleman. “Got er all done without having to go to the Mall.  Heck, I haven’t even been there in years.”

When asked how he was able to accomplish such an unusual feat, Dinkleman shared some of his shopping secrets with FCN.  “The big thing is that I found that there are several places all over Springfield that I can buy shoes, athletic wear, jewelry, candy, clothes of all kinds…even kitchenware you name it; there is another place in Springfield that sells it. If I get hungry, there is no waiting at a food court.  I just go to a drive thru and get burgers, tacos, chicken and even oriental food.  It’s just a simple deal.  The truth is I have always shopped like this.  Nobody knew I did it this way until I came home one night with a Target bag,” he said.

Sally Dinkleman, who was been married to John for over 20 years, was pleasantly surprised when she learned of her husband’s shopping secrets.  “I just can’t believe how good he does with the whole family’s gifts.  Everyone is happy and nobody complains.  I always thought he was a sucker for radio and TV ads for jewelry or a Lexus, cause that is what I usually get.  If his method of shopping ever gets out you may never see a married man in the Battlefield Mall again.”

Finally, Dinkleman revealed the universal truth in male shopping that could render being a marketing major in college a thing of the past.  “Let me tell you something.  And again its a simple deal.  WOMEN SHOP AND MEN BUY.  It’s true.  How many times have you been out with the wife or girl friend and look at shoes, for example.  Women can look at shoes all day and come home empty handed.  That would never happen with a man,” he said.

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