Springfield, MO–A silence swept across Metagames last Saturday as 21-year-old local Pokemon card competitor, Michael Walsh, stunned his fellow “Pokemon Trainers” by revealing that he not only has a girlfriend, but that she is attractive. “We were just in awe,” said friend and fellow Pokemon card competitor, Aaron Boshin, “This has never happened before to a guy like us! Not here in Springfield, not in Pallet Town, not anywhere!”
Nerds everywhere began asking: How did he do it? Our reporters asked him the same question, and after explaining how he arranged his “sweet new Gyarados deck,” he gave us the secret to getting an attractive girl to date you even when she knows you play Pokemon cards.
“They key,” said Walsh, “is to date for like four years before you start playing. My girlfriend already loves me, and it would be too much trouble to break up and sort out whose stuff is whose and meet someone else at this point, so she just puts up with it.”
“It almost killed me at first,” said Kara Miller, Walsh’s girlfriend, “I was just so embarrassed, but I’ve gotten over that now. At least it isn’t fantasy football or something.” “It took her a while to get on board,” said Walsh, “but all good things take time, right? I mean, Charizard didn’t evolve in a day!”
Walsh’s relationship with his attractive girlfriend has become a huge sensation in the Pokemon Card Game community. So huge, in fact, that “Trainers” typically call making love “making Walsh,” or “Walshing.”
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