Bitter Old Miser Shown True Meaning of President’s Day

Scrumb visited by spirits of President's Day past

Springfield, MO- Edgar Scrumb, owner of Scrum Mortgage and Loan, was taught a valuable lesson about caring, giving, and the true meaning of President’s Day by three spirits.

Edgar’s horrify night started after telling his employees they have to work on President’s day. That night he was visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. They warned Scrumb that he would be visited by 3 spirits to teach him the true meaning of President’s Day.

The first spirit showed up at the stroke of midnight. The ghost of President’s Day past, a flying John Adams, took Scrumb on a wonderful journey to his past. There he saw his lonely childhood where his father refused to pick him up on President’s Day, his young adulthood where he enjoyed Wuzzyfig’s extravagant President’s day ball, and a fight over his constant working on President’s Day with his lover.

The second spirit (a giant, bearded Obama) showed Scrumb the Cratbit family’s pathetic feast and how if Scrum would “share the wealth” everyone could be happy. The spirit then showed Scrumb how Tiny Tom would be able to get all the health care he would need under his plan.

The final, most dreadful spirit came at the stroke of 2:14 (he was a little late). There a hooded figure showed Scrumb a scary graveyard. That was about it.

Scrumb woke up in a cold sweat, ready to start his new, generous life. After the night of unearthly visitations, Edgar decided to give all his money to various charities around the Ozarks. Also Scrumb has taken a special interest in the Cratbit family where he plans to use his connections to get on “Extreme Home Maker” and ABC’s new show “Who Wants To Be Cured Of Their Horrible Disease”.

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