Archive for February, 2011
Fortune Telling Lawyer Open for Business
Springfield, MO—Local attorney Newsome Higsby has moved his law practice into a former fortuneteller’s office on Glenstone and St. Louis Street in Springberg, hoping to glean some otherworldly help in his caseload. Higsby said, “The space has a special aura about it. I think that most defendants would appreciate help from beyond the grave, and […]
79 Spartans Vote to Victory!
Sparta, MO—Spartan voters approved issuing $2.5 million in bonds for improvements to the water and sewer system in Sparta this past week. The new water and sewer system will include a bottomless pit for sewer waste that shall remain uncovered and reside within the center of the city. Only scantily clad Spartan warriors will stand […]
Brown Derby Actually Black
Springfield, MO—According to sources, the Brown Derby is actually black. Brown Derby, one of America’s 10 Best Retailers according to Liquor Store Magazine, is recognized as the Ozarks leading provider of spirits, wines and confusing combinations of logo colors and names. Since 1937, the store has featured a black line drawing as the store’s leading […]
February Horoscopes
Fair City News is proud to present monthly horoscopes to help readers navigate life’s hills and valleys. As such, it is very important to consult your medical doctor initial if you are to acquire this drug specifically should you be possessing some medically associated illnesses simply viagra without prescription because this medication might be contraindicated […]
Local Newspaper Reader Makes Intelligent, Constructive Point
Springfield, MO – It was just a normal Tuesday for Steven Jones, a business owner and reader of newspapers from Ozark, Mo. But then a newspaper story about school budgets caught his eye, and he decided to post a comment online. This is when Jones’ life changed forever. “This is the sort of scenario we […]
Springfield Stocks Up
Springfield MO.- With bad weather arriving and more on the way the citizens of Springfield do not want to be caught “out in the cold.” Grocery stores have reported that people have been coming in and buying the basics to get them through the hard times. “Our sales almost triple when bad weather is predicted.”, […]
McDonald’s Overwhelmed With People Preparing For Snow Storm
Springfield, MO. –Deemed the worst storm to hit the Ozarks since 2003, the massive snow storm front sweeping the nation has been called many names such as: “Snolocaust”, “Snowpocolypse”, even “Snowmageddon”. Its impending smack down in our region has local residents preparing for the worse. “I’m not going to get caught with my pants down […]
Snow-Fearing Ozarkians Lose Their Effin’ Minds
Springfield, MO—Mass hysteria has blanketed the Ozarks pending a predicted snowfall that is estimated to be the largest accumulation since 1912, essentially Ozarkians have lost their effin’ minds. “I went to the store as soon as I done heard there was gonna be a Snownado come up and take us all to the icy hell,” […]
