Retired Playboy Bunnies Arrive for Easter Weekend

Gray bunny still top hare

Springfield, MO—Retired Playboy Bunnies sprung up this morning across Springfield’s major intersections. The aged gals wore traditional Easter Bunny costumes announcing that the Holy Day was coming as if it were the end of the world. Most passerby’s simply honked in appreciation.

One thoroughly surprised traveler was shocked when he stopped his car and got out to say hello. Dicky Fullbright, from Neosho, said he was invited to visit the Roxy Nightclub tonight by Bunny Hoppalot. Bunny said, “I am in town from Vegas because I heard there was a lot of action here. Posing as the holiday character seemed like an ironic and yet discreet way to find new clientele in the Bible belt and  the Springfield/Branson area fits my demographic.”

Bunny went on to say, “If things are as hot as they say they are, I might just plant myself here permanently, it seems like a nice place to ride into the sunset.”

The ancient bunnies went so far as to proposition some Johns-to-be with either artificial egg insemination or prostitution. Candy Freely said, “I’m might be a retired Playboy but I’m not dead. I still have several fertile years ahead of me and I want to get the biggest bang for my buck. Besides, I heard there was a vacancy down at the Vandivort building that has space for just my kind of services.”