Cinco de Mayonnaise Celebrated in Ozark

Ozark man celebrates Cinco de Mayonnaise by drinking too much mayo

Ozark, MO—Phillip Hershaw and Chad Netmeg celebrated Cinco de Mayonnaise on the fifth of May this year as a tribute to the heritage of French culinary arts, which unbeknownst to them, flies directly in the face of Cinco de Mayo, a celebration that commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla in 1862.

Hershaw and Netmeg invited several people over to their duplex on 4^th street to “have a killed Mayo party, y’know the kind you’d see on the Food Network” according to their invitees.

The two men’s friends didn’t have the heard to tell them the truth about the original meaning behind Cinco de Mayo. Neil Hollister said, “it was too funny, these idiots thought that it was a day to celebrate a stable emulsion of oil, egg yolk and either vinegar or lemon juice! So we just watched them eat mouthloads of mayo and encouraged them by screaming ‘Happy Cinco de Mayo’!”

Hershaw said, “Oh man, this mayo is sooo good, no wonder they named a day after it!” Hershaw was said to have enjoyed a big bag of Lays potato chips with an entire jar of mayonnaise used for dipping.

Said Netmeg between swallows of mayonnaise from a mason jar, “I can’t wait until we have a Mircale Whip day. Couldn’t that be done around Easter? I love Miracles!”

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