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2012 Cox Sucker Days Announced

 

New sponsors vie for Sucker Day naming rights

Nixa, MO—The Nixa Sucker Days committee is proud to announce it has a new title sponsor this year, Cox Health.  The event, now known as Cox Sucker Days, will be held in Nixa as scheduled this year, with a few changes.  Ted Crass, chairman of the event said, “We’re proud to welcome Cox Health as our sponsor, and we know Cox Sucker Days will be our most successful ever.”

The coming events at Cox Sucker Days this year will include a special appearance by Pee Wee Herman and the Popsicle Twins, as seen on The Gong Show, performing the acts that made them famous.  A booth will be set up by Backpage.com to point interested parties to suckers all over Southwest Missouri.  Volunteers will be providing heart-healthy tips for enjoying suckers.

Mike Danwyik stated, “We like to be involved in our community, and Cox Sucker Days is no exception.  We are proud to be associated with such a heart healthy event.  Come one, come all to Cox Sucker Days!”

Attendance at this past weekend’s event was so high sponsors immediately began lining up to participate in next year’s event. Potential sponsors included national brands such as Dick’s Sporting Goods, Hummer Trucks, and DSL, all vied for the top billing before Cox Sucker Days was officially announced.

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RSSComments (32)

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  1. joe says:

    Cox sucker days hahahaha didnt think of that before u chose it hahaha

  2. Jack says:

    Umm… you have to be kidding me, right? Nobody on your PR team thought it would be a bad idea to have something called “Cox Sucker?”

  3. Jack says:

    That name?!?! Seriously?!?!?!

  4. Chalmer says:

    The Popsicle twins at Cox Suckers Day? This has to be a joke.

  5. WC1 says:

    Does nobody have a problem with the name of this event? Awesome.

  6. Fishy says:

    Could they have picked a worse name? “Cox Sucker” – seriously? Did a bunch of middle school kids come up with this?

  7. Mike says:

    Really! I know people at Cox and in Nixa so this is extra funny to me. I can only imagine the meeting discussing this name. Was no one under the age of 60 in the meeting? Really? No one got the joke before it hit the press? Hilarious.

  8. Gary says:

    The National Organization for Women may demand that Cox Sucker Days organizers provide equal time for pussy cat licking.

  9. Ron says:

    It would have been a little more tactful to call it “Cox Health Sucker Days”.

  10. Nicola says:

    Next they will hold a beer drinking contest at the Liquor Patch.. What the IO)@#P@$@$# LMAO! Nice one Cox… so much for your marketing!

  11. Jennifer says:

    Look at like the first 9 tags. So funny.

  12. Carlos says:

    I am totally there, dude.

  13. Sigh.. says:

    You idgits DO realize this is a satire (as in fake) news site, right? :)

    Good on them though for the joke. Lol

  14. [...] out the original article HERE Share and [...]

  15. Dave says:

    Will there be a competition for “Miss Cox Sucker”. Do they need judges?

  16. Nimrod says:

    It is a joke you nimrods. Are kidding? You’re that devoid of humor that you can’t recognize satire? This is funny.

  17. J. Q. Hammons says:

    The name is absurd, a travesty to the great nation of Springfield. My great grand pappy, John O. Hammons would be rolling in his grave right now. Actually, he is probably rolling in his grave regardless of this Cox sucker days nightmare: you see he was a rather peculiar feller. I know he was caught numerous times in photos/ drawings playing in the dirt. And I think some of it rubbed off on my father, John P. Hammons.

    Anyways, if Jacqueline Dowdy would stop drugging me, I would pay to change the name of this. Got to go, Matlock is on!

  18. Zia says:

    2 t-shirts, please!

  19. S Gray says:

    I can assure you this is not true…a figment of someone’s imagination and computer skills.

  20. Jonathan says:

    Everybody that is offended by this name needs to have a sense of humor.

    As a local business owner, I feel this event will be a smashing success. The name just helps us get publicity for the event and bring awareness to the cause.

    I am not affiliated with this year’s event just a local business man.

    I would however, like for my business to sponsor’s next year’s Sucker Days. I sell sporting equipment and own My Balls, LLC.

  21. GoForBroke says:

    Too bad…funnier before the satire. The writer put both CoxHealth and Nixa Sucker Days on the map for 15 minutes.

  22. bdtunks says:

    I heard they turned down Dick’s Sporting Goods as a sponsor…

  23. SpringfieldMoe says:

    Note that corporate sponsor, Cox Health, will be providing free condoms and dental dams for all participants at this year’s Cox Sucker event!

  24. [...] permalink 2012 Cox Sucker Days Announced : Fair City News [...]

  25. KimB says:

    I heard they are moving The testicle Festival also to Licking MO they are going to call it “Licking Testicle Fest”

  26. NWilli says:

    LOL I can’t believe that people actually don’t know that this is a FAKE news site!!! Too funny!! It is a little scary to see how many gullible morons are out there though. EEK!!

  27. JT says:

    Gary says:
    June 21, 2011 at 9:12 am
    The National Organization for Women may demand that Cox Sucker Days organizers provide equal time for pussy cat licking.

    JT says… Gary, that should probably be held in Licking, MO!

  28. Mike says:

    Terry, AKA The Nope Committee , you are a genius!

  29. Brandy says:

    The story is creative and great, the lack of comprehension is even better!

  30. Alex B's says:

    Your general confusion over the reality of the situation at hand is hilarious.

  31. jericko beebe says:

    i believe this is possibly the funniest thing someone could have done. Now i agree it looks made by a middle school child, but it is so ****ing hilarious. just imagine if dicks would have sponsored it that would have been some funny stuff “dicks sucker day” roflmfao