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Brass Knuckle Deer Season Announced

 

Punch a deer season opens, camo brass knuckle sales increase

Springfield, MO—The local office of the Missouri Department of Conservation has announced the creation of Brass Knuckle Deer Season.  Beginning August 13 and running through August 25, punchers will be allowed two unconscious bucks per hunter, per season.  Doe punching will not be allowed as this falls under state statute regarding wife beating.

Department of Conservation spokesperson Brutus Wjchevski informed us that the purpose of the new hunt is not only to thin the herd, but, to separate the true hunter from the amateur boxing enthusiast.  “It takes a certain type of individual to go toe-to-hoof with a 16 pointer and throw a haymaker in hopes of a truly unique trophy.”

Would-be punchers are to complete three rounds in the alleyway behind The Landers Theatre with local pugilist Lightnin’ Joel Lomax.  Completion of this requirement is needed for one to attain a license through the Missouri Boxing and Venison Commission.

Camouflage “Knucks” are allowed, but, Everlast trunks in blaze orange are recommended for puncher/hunter safety.

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  1. Joel says:

    Let’s get it on!

  2. Terry L West says:

    Just a step below my skills, I’ve been jumping out of trees naked onto them and stabbing them to death.