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Nation’s Remaining Unwanted VHS Found in Local Flea Markets

 

VHS tapes are worth their weight in oxygen

Springfield, MO – The American Film Institute has commissioned the flea markets of Springfield, Missouri, to become the official historical preservation sites of the nation’s remaining supply of unwanted VHS movies. AFI officials awarded the prestigious honor only after an extensive evaluation of many cities. The results showed that Springfield’s local flea markets have an unmatched dedication to this antiquated technology.

For years, VHS has lined booths in these facilities with an eclectic assortment of Hollywood’s most forgettable. “Every booth is like stepping into a time-capsule of forgotten media technology,” said an AFI official. “Where else could copies of Batman & Robin, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, and every Jean Claude Van Damme movie ever made be found side-by-side?”

Although a bit dusty, these VHS movies have rarely been disturbed from their natural resting states. One flea-market purveyor recalls a customer last interacting with a tape back in 2007. “I remember it like it was yesterday,” said an employee of Urban Market on E. Trafficway. “We were very nervous when this man grabbed a copy of Total Recall off the shelf. We weren’t sure what would happen. But after quickly looking over the cover, he just put it back in its place. I’ll bet his fingerprints are still there to this day!” “One thing is for certain,” said the AFI official. “Springfield’s flea-market patrons will forever be treated to an awe-inspiring display of lack luster titles from this time-worn technology.”

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