Archive for July, 2011
July Horoscopes
Fair City News is proud to present monthly horoscopes to help readers navigate life’s hills and valleys. These diseases ordine cialis on line usually can cause reduced erectile function. This is a certified and approved product, which allows men achieve erection tadalafil prices and make love several times. Are there any Side loved that cialis […]
“BBC” and “CBC” Combine Into New “CBCBCB”
Springfield, MO – In a move to become more efficient, the Board of Governors for Baptist Bible College (BBC) and Central Bible College (CBC) voted unanimously to consolidate resources by merging into the larger CBCBCB. This act will save the two institutions millions in printing costs by reducing the 38 characters in both names down […]
Area Dogs Survive Another Armageddon
Springfield, MO- Area dogs are pleased to see they survived another Armageddon. The Armageddon (which always occurred in early July) is marked with horrible, thunderous banging sounds; bright lights exploding in the sky; black ash snakes appearing from flames; fire and sparks shooting from the ground; and smiling demons holding magic sticks of fire. […]
Giant Black Snake Tops Fireworks Show
Kimberling City, MO—“OMG what the hell is that!?” could be heard shouted from boaters on Table Rock Lake this weekend as they viewed the final few moments of the Kimberling Bridge fireworks show. According to sources, the fireworks finale included a 475-foot tall, 60-foot round giant black snake that scared the bejesus out of […]
Freakin’ Moron Allowed to Purchase Fireworks
Springfield, MO—Julie Robertson, a firework salesperson, said she was hesitant to sell an entire gross of M-80s to Norbert Gilferdton as he looked to be a freakin’ moron capable of harming himself and/or others. Unfortunately, no laws exists banning sales of fireworks to idiots, much less freakin’ morons. “This man came into the tent […]
