Cheddar’s Provides Unforgettable Dining Experience from Hell


SGF Cheddar's location swirls evil feelings via fans to create its famous cookie monster dessert

Springfield, MO—A local family seeking a comfortable lunch was thrust into a nightmare dining hell this Sunday while attempting to dine casually at Cheddar’s. “I really was looking forward to having a nice lunch with the in-laws to cap off the weekend. I had no idea that it would be the most memorable dining experience I’ve ever had – it was completely awful!” said one of the party.

According to their website, Cheddar’s goal is “to be a great restaurant that serves quality food fresh from the kitchen in a friendly, comfortable atmosphere at a fair price.” However, the Springfield location may have misunderstood the simple mantra and seeks only to “be a great place of torture and mental anguish by exposing families with babies and grandparents to unbearable wait times, snobby and aloof hostesses, menu items with missing ingredients and a kitchen that pushes out salads, apps, kid’s meals and entrees at the same time.”

One family member horribly scarred from the dining experience said, “that Cheddar’s is one-of-a-kind. You can’t go just anywhere and be glared at by 5 hostesses huddled around a podium. Those poor girls likely were angry at us because they couldn’t figure out how to pull together two tables. So sad, but it is a dining event I won’t soon forget!”

The family reported that once their meals arrived, it was much easier to chew having grinded their teeth for an hour watching scores of diners be sat before them. “Yes, we had to wait a long time, but g-ma got lots of reading done. Fortunately when we mentioned our wait time to the general manager at Cheddar’s he half-heartedly comp’d our meal. Which gave us some bit of relief, which was quickly ripped away when our waitress came back weeping with the bill. Apparently the Cheddar’s staff told her she was a bad server. I guess it is easier to incorrectly blame one innocent person than the horde of idiots seating people.”

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  1. Rob White says:

    Hmm. This doth reek of personal experience on the author’s behalf, I’m afraid. Personal vendettas do not always make for good humor when the loathing lies so close to the surface. ;)

  2. says:

    True, however, this site occasionally needs a bit of Juvenalian satire, which addresses social evil through scorn, outrage, and savage ridicule. This form is often pessimistic, characterized by irony, sarcasm, moral indignation and personal invective, with less emphasis on humor.

  3. Dave says:

    There was a great episode of Seinfeld where they spent the entire show waiting for a table at a restaurant. After they finally gave up and left, the host says, “Seinfeld party of four” and then the closing credits rolled. Dining at any popular place in Springfield on weekends can be a lengthy ordeal as people from 60 miles around take their weekly bath, brush their teeth, comb their hair, and head to Springfield to eat. There is nothing the host or hostess can say or do that will not make them seem snooty to a hungry customer with a blood sugar problem right after Ramadan.

  4. Dave says:

    Too much juvenation in a readers comments can get those comments bounced from this website, so go easy.

  5. Bob says:

    I quit eating there years ago after similar experiences. I don’t know what people see in that place.