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Fall Postponed To Late November

 

"Sorry!" says Mother Nature

Springfield, MO- Due to numerous set backs and mistakes Autumn will be coming months later than usual. The ridiculous heat and humidity will continue until after Thanksgiving.

The delay is contributed to many factors. The cooler weather was lost in the mail due to a shipping error. The order form for yellow, red, and orange leaves was misplaced under a stack of papers, therefore was never sent out. The pumpkins and apple cider division was plagued with revolving door managers and ridiculous turn over. Also inexperienced interns never got around getting bids for corn and squash.

“We are so sorry to the people of the Ozarks,” states Mother Nature. “We are trying to get out act together. We are planning a short Fall, and catching up in Winter. Spring 2012 should be right on schedule.”

Springfield citizens are planning to make adjustments to their fall events. Halloween costumes for males will mostly be swimmer dudes, Tarzan, and underwear model. Due to their all ready short shirts and low cut tops, women costumes will still be slutty nurse, slutty school girl, slutty ghost, and slutty prostitutes.

For Thanksgiving, turkeys will be barbequed on the grill (or sidewalk) and slip n slides will be the activity of choice instead of football. Also yams will be replaced by watermelons and mashed potatoes will be replaced by watermelon.

“People may complain about the heat now. But, just wait till Dec 2012. It will be a real scorcher. I mean literally hellfire. We are all excited about it,” states Mother Nature. “

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  1. Dave says:

    Is that the same Mother Nature who is working for our new out of town FOX channel?

  2. Joe says:

    Today the FOX channel arrived in south Springfield before the Fall.