Netflix Buys Major Video, Focuses on VHS Rentals

Netflix storefront to sell VHS experience

Springfield, MO – Attempting to please its Ozarks customer base, Netflix has announced the purchase of Major Video on Glenstone street to serve as a brick and mortar storefront allowing for casual VHS rentals. The news comes just days after Netflix identified sister company Qwikster as an awful idea spawned from the head of Satan.

“Okay, okay Qwikster wasn’t such a good thing, right? Well now we’re going to offer a shop that you can conveniently drive to and rent VHS tapes to take home and watch in the comfort of your home,” said Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix.

Major Videoster, as the new store will be known, is celebrate with a grand opening this weekend where customers can purchase month long memberships at $35 per person. A membership allows customers to enter the building where they can then select VHS tapes to rent at $5 per night. Funds generated are projected to cover loss of over 1 million Netflix customers and restore plunging stock price.

According to Netflix website, “customers deserve a special and unique entertainment experience. There are several options for streaming video, but not too many places where you can rent vintage VHS titles. We want to fill that entertainment void.”

Major Videoster will provide blockbuster titles such as Romancing the Stone, Ernest goes to Camp, Cannonball Run 2 and seasons 1-4 of the television series Dallas. Auggie Manchester, a college freshman at Missouri State University said, “I’ve never heard of any of those movies…what the hell is VHS?”

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