Gun Show at the Pony Club?!

Local man prepares for Gun Show audition

Springfield, MO – According to a nearby billboard the Pony Club will host a Gun Show Oct. 22-23. Normally a male entertainment venue, the Pony Club Gun Show will feature dozens of men flexing their bicep muscles to the beat of rock ‘n roll music to delight the Ozarks’ female population.

“You ladies have tickets?” asked club owner Shiver Metimbers to a group of women, “to the Gun Show!??” while pulling back his right sleeve, flexing his muscles, and pointing with his left hand. The women immediately purchased tickets to ensure that he quit asking them the question.

“It’s going to be a fantastic event,” said Metimbers, “we even got the huge billboard colored pink like our building. See? Genius. We color coordinated everything!” Pony Club will hold auditions Oct. 20 & 21 for men who wish to show off their guns.

Regulations state that the men will be required to wear nipple tassels even if they choose to not remove their shirt, “just in case, you never know what happens on stage. We want this to be a true Ozark man celebration. Sure we could bring in the Chippendales, but they’re not real men. We want the true masculine spirit of Southwest Missouri onstage showing how we make this area of the country great,” said Metimbers.

Hopefuls should prepare a 1-minute routine to “Smokin in the Boys Room” and include several muscular poses, including but not limited to The Front Double Biceps, The Crab and The Rear Double Biceps. Flexing and posing is the only requirement, actual muscle mass is not required.

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