Springfield, MO- According to several sources, the office Halloween party at McMerchant Accounting Firm was somewhere between “totally crazy” and “off da hook.” The party goers, mostly accountants and executive assistants, all stated they had a wild time that will never be forgotten.
“I have such a hang over,” stated accountant Wildfred Marksdale. “I took so many shots. And then I totally made out with a girl from the cubicle across from me, then we had this séance and called unspeakable horrors from the neither realm. And then I photocopied my butt. It was awesome.”
Other wild and crazy antics included drunken twister, costume contest, making pacts with the dark lord, truth or date, somehow contracting a zombie like plague, eating way to much candy, and eating way to much human flesh.
“I was totally doing this upside down beer bong while pledging my soul to Lucifer and Saunders from the annex took a huge chunk out of my thigh with his already rotting teeth. So I popped him one. I never punched a man before. It was awesome,” states Mary Stargrant, a 67-year-old secretary.
Around 3:33 things got really crazy. A coven of witches, a pack of werewolves, and a stagger of frat boys joined the party. The group gorged themselves on man flesh, gave potions to numerous guest, and left. The witches and werewolves were also there, but were perfect guests.
“I know we all have some regrets,” said manager Grant Maxpert, “But, this is nothing compared to the Christmas Party. After last years’ I needed 9-months of therapy. Oh crap. Here come the flashbacks again. NO! NOOOO!!!!!!”
Filed Under: Living