Nixa, MO – Nixa shoppers received a shock Monday evening when several individuals reported a sighting of the legendary Nixa Wookiee in and around the Local Walmart Supercenter. Although the Nixa Wookiee has long enjoyed a position of prominence in local folklore, this is the first time in recent memory a sighting of the creature has been reported.
The “wookiee” was described by witnesses as being between 6-8 feet tall, with a leathery coat and long, furry low hanging ears, not unlike a winter cap with ear flaps. “He walked on his hind legs, just like a real person,” Said shopper Dale Wrigley, who sighted the creature in the grocery section of the store, “he had these weird white feet without toes and big black forepaws. I think he was foraging for food, because he was holding a bunch of bananas. Thank God we already had the airsoft rifle in the cart. Who knows what would have happened if we hadn’t chased him off.”
Resident Twila Marie Willdonner saw the creature shortly after he left the store, “He was runnin’ like the dickens, with his front legs over his head, like he was protectin’ hisself. I never seen no bear move that fast. Jim had the shotgun almost loaded, but he was out of sight before we could get a shot off.” Willdonner described the creature as, “Ugly as sin, all hairy and big. It had a pale face, brown fur on the top half, and kinda grayish fur on the bottom. Cursed like a sailor too.”
Authorities have declined to comment on the nature or existence of the alleged cryptozological creature. But urge residents to avoid any contact with animals they do not recognize. “If there is some kinda wookiee or bigfoot or something,” Said Nixa Police Chief, Francis Spoonerson, “It’s probably just as scared of us as we are of it. Call us if you see it, and we’ll come take care of it, no problem.”
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