Springfield, MO – Local squirrels busied themselves by creating a work of word art made from pine cones this past week – communicating an important message of “Booobz”. The pine cone script expressed several emotions by passerbys near the intersection of National and Bennett streets.
“I was sitting inside Mexican Villa enjoying sweet sauce and chips when I saw like 30-40 squirrels gathering up pine cones. I was enthralled. Then they started stuffing the cones into the fence and I thought ‘well that’s funny’. Then all of a sudden they formed the letter B. I was astonished…what were the squirrels going to spell? Were they going to provide me with some sort of secret of life? Some hidden piece of advice known only to the animal kingdom. No, they spelled Boobz. I was disappointed to say the least,” said Nancy Holmergadin, of Springfield.
Animals have long exhibited the ability to communicate with humans via scratching, cuddling and vocalizing their wants and needs. According to Dexter Frank, Professor of Animal Studies, “sometimes beasts of the woodlands need to have some fun, make a statement and be silly. I believe this is what we are seeing here in this message.” Booobz” is neither a correct spelling nor a insight into squirrel vernacular. They are simply expressing themselves to let us know they understand us.”
Critics claim that the message is a forewarning that our language is plummeting deeper into a state of ignorance. “Either the squirrels realize that our educational system is failing us or the nut-jobs really, really like boobs. Either way, our passive spelling traits are being passed onto God’s creatures,” said Millard Mustardly.
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