Branson Tornado Skips Over Cracked Ripley’s Building

Tornado figures this place was already destroyed

Branson, MO – The vicious tornado that ripped apart the Branson Strip entertainment area apparently stopped short of demolishing the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditorium, presumable due to the building already having the appearance of destruction.

“I’d say that mighty black tornader seen the Ripley’s building and figured it was already fallin’ apart so there’s no use in hitting it,” said native Jake Stillworth, “looks to me that the weird building done saved itself by the funny architecture.”

Most locals suggest that the wax gypsies and shrunken heads protected the building by exuding a black magic force-field that redirected the EF-2 destructor. “Of course that is complete bunk,” said Dr. Norma Shivershins, “the tornado that hit Branson had eyes, it could see that the building showed structural damage and was not a worthy opponent. I suggest that all of our homes be modeled to appear as if they are falling apart to protect against natural disasters.”

Tornado whisperer Kale Lora confirmed, “when the twister was skipping across highway 76, I reached out to the wind spirit and heard it say ‘what’s up with that building? Might as well let it fall apart by itself’. That’s a fact. That tornado intentionally avoided the Ripley’s BION Odditorium.”

A spokesperson for the attraction confirmed that they are in fact open, once the electricity is back on.

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  1. Dave says:

    I hope the storm didn’t sink the Titanic Museum.