Political Storm Alert – Santorum and Paul Warning in Ozarks

Political storm alert issued

Springfield, MO – The National Political Service in Springfield has issued a Republican Presidential Candidate warning for Greene County in southwest Missouri until 9pm CST Saturday night. At 5:12 pm trained politician spotters reported several Republican candidates were seen moving towards the Missouri Ozarks. Listen here: Political Storm Warning

A political barrage of television advertisements may develop at any time. Politico Radar showed this dangerous storm of activity moving southwest at 80 miles per hour. Locations impacted include Digital Monitoring Products in the Partnership Industrial Center, and Hillcrest High School at 3319 N. Grant Avenue.

Take  cover now. Move to an interior room on the lowest level of a sturdy bullshit-proof building. Avoid televisions and radio transmissions as they may carry political advertisements. If in a mobile home…you’re pretty much done for, but we knew that. If in a vehicle or outdoors move to the closest shelter and protect yourself from flying political promises.

Political hurricane Santorum is expected to make landfall early Saturday and will be closely followed by tropical storm Paul in the evening. The epicenter of the storms will pass southwest Missouri this weekend. Gale winds are expected to be in place through county caucuses March 17^th – 24^th.

An extreme political wind warning is in place for a predicted category 3 hurricane Romney, a cell that has exceptionally high intensity and forming from the northeast.

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