God Okay with Idol Worship in the Ozarks

American Idol favored in eyes of God

Springfield, MO – Following the performance of American Idol star Kelly Clarkson last night, several Christians converted to Idol worship. The God of the Universe had planned to strike dead all who are partaking in the pagan cult rituals but God finds Clakson’s music just too catchy and herself to be too cheery to destroy her and the idolatry.

“Her music is wonderful, according to Me!” quipped the Creator of the Universe, “I couldn’t bring myself to smite those fun loving Idol worshippers even though I could do it without batting an eye. Yes, I could infect them all with Justin Guarini disease and watch them wither up and fall off the face of the Earth, yet they are all so fun-going.”

Local church clergy had mixed views on the matter. “Uhm, well I guess if the Son of Man likes A Moment Like This so much he has the right to let her continue to exist, but some of her fan base are pretty annoying, couldn’t He take some of them out as a show of good faith?” pondered Friar Earl Pressley.

“Sure I blessed her; she broke The Beatles’ record for the biggest leap to number one, from 52, in the history of the Billboard Hot 100 chart. You can’t deny talent like that. She’s All I Ever Wanted, and I am Mr. Know It All, I guess it would be safe to say My Life Would Suck Without her,” laughed the Lord Almighty.

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