Lawrence County Renews Strip Club Tax, Adds “Spice Up the Bedroom” Tax

Win-win according to Old Maids

Mount Vernon, MO- With a Lawrence County 10% Strip Club on the ballots, lawmakers are trying to find other ways to make money in the same vein. With a “Spice Up the Bedroom” tax, couples will be taxed on various sexy items. Items that would be taxed would be: maid outfits, school girl outfits, masks, whips, creams, and whip cream.

“Well, we didn’t want topless women lap dancing and pole gyrating,” says councilmen Saunders. “Then we thought about that could happen in any bedroom anytime, and there was money to be made.”

The councilman then stated there are plenty of non-taxed approve activities for couples bedroom. Falling asleep while watching Leno, reading John Grisham novels in bed, and having the husband checking scary noises.

“Sure, I was going to buy some pom-poms, rubber bands for pig tails and skirt for the clichéd “pom-pom saleswoman”, but now that we have the tax I think I going to buy some cookie dough ice cream and rent ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for the hundredth time,” says housewife Doris Night.

Law makers are waiting to see how the laws will affect couples. “Well, either we tax them with the spicing up the bedroom stuff, or tax bored husband at strip clubs. It is a win-win for us. Well, once we get the celibacy tax going, then it will be a win-win-win,” stated the councilman.

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