History Channel to Film “Bat Men” in Ozarks

Man catches bat before it turns into vampire

Springfield, MO- With the success of such blue collar shows such as “Ice Road Truckers”, “Swamp People”, and “Ax Men” The History Channel will begin filming a show featuring bat hunters in the Ozarks. “Bat Men” will bring the fun, danger, and excitement of bat hunting to the average person’s living room. It will boast color characters and a host of interesting settings such as caves, caves, and more caves.
“People don’t understand that bats are a menace to society and need to be destroyed. They turn into vampires, they look creepy, eat harmless mosquitoes, and get stuck in little girl’s hair. People know this and pay us to kill the little, hairy jerks. Mostly little girls. We get a lot of lemonade stand money,” said James “Slayer” Slayton.
With over 6000 caves in Missouri, it is the perfect location for bat hunting and Ozarkians are artist at the craft. Dating back to the founding of the state bat hunting has been a lucrative career. Some bat killing families can be traced back to the original bat hunter Hector “Bat**** Crazy” Willis.
“We are very excited about this show,” said an unnamed History Channel executive. “We love crazy red necks killing, driving over, or cutting stuff. And these guys are crazy. They kill bats with pitch forks, dynamite, and super soakers filled with garlic water. Who even has super soakers anymore? I mean, come on.”
The colorful characters feature will be: a father and son team being torn apart because they are both vying for the same woman‘s affection, a crazy old man who hunted bats under the FDR administration, two sisters who hunt for meth money, and a 11 year old bat killing prodigy who kills bat at a 12th grade level.

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