Earthlings Overlook Earth Day

Local man cuts down trees to make a landfill for used plastics for Earth Day

Springfield, MO – Most people overlooked the Earth Day celebration in the Ozarks however many took specific actions to impact their direct effect on our local ecosystem. Loni Urtangers said, “I thought long and hard while I showered for 2 hours trying to come up with something I could do to better the environment, then I realized I could stop placing garbage into the recycling can.”

Ozarkers across the region took action during this awareness period. “I took to burning that pile of tires but then realized that today was Earth Day, so I’ll burn that heap next week to honor todays’ celebration,” said Brett Hollinjer of Buffalo, MO. “We was emptying hazardous waste material into a cave,” claimed Abigail Fruittonger, “but on Earth day I decided to find an empty dumpster to take my nasties to, it saves the cave and the Earth a day of processing my meth lab excess.”

Sam Hergusin of Nixa decided he was going to recycle his used batteries. Hergusin drove around town from location to location for about an hour and a half asking where he could take the consumed portable power sources. “Eventually, no one had any good ideas and I was running thin on patience so I returned the batteries back into Earth myself – by throwing them into the James River on my way home,” said Hergusin.

If you have a good idea on how to save the Earth, please drive a large gas-guzzling  SUV into the nearest potable water source and empty several cans of hairspray toward the sky like a beacon to signify your location where we can collect your idea to save the Earth’s natural resources.

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