Archive for May, 2012
Precocious Kids Save DARE Program Through “Baked” Sale
Polk County, MO- Due to budget cuts the anti-drug DARE program seemed to be doomed, but thanks to local kids, the program may have new life. Students from all over the Polk County area lent a helping hand to the program by selling numerous baked goods with a special ingredient. “Love,” said 10 year old […]
Handicap Signage Promotes Racism
Springfield, MO – A painted parking spot elicited racist emotions on the south side of the queen city after a short shopping spree at the Walmarts. A large white handicap image can be clearly seen crushing the head of a black handicapped image. “What the f*ck is that!?” said George Tillawhack, as he walked by […]
Springfield Woman Pulls off Girl Scout Heist of the Century
Los Springvas, MO- A local woman pulled of the heist of a lifetime when she stole thousands of dollars from a local PTA and Girl Scout Troop 70472. The heist took months of planning and could have not been pulled off with her crack team of thieves that the media as deemed “Jordan’s 11.” “You […]
Crowds Gather Too Close to Battlefield Mall Bomb Scare
Springfield, MO – Crowd gathered uncomfortably close to a bomb investigation this week at the Battlefield Mall, a Simon property. The suspicious device was reported by an astute shopper after seeing a bag on the ground with wires poking out of it. While police determined if armored men or a bomb defusing robot should go […]
Prom King Refuses To Give Up Crown
Springfield, MO- Hilldale High School is on the verge of political unrest and social upheaval with Rex Kingston, last year’s prom king, refusing to give up the crown to one of the 4 court candidates. With the King of Prom succession being a yearly rite, the act of refusing to yield the crown means trouble […]
