Springfield Stopping Mountain Dew’s “Water is for Wussys” Ad Campaign

Wussies pulled wussy campaign

Springfield, MO- With summer temperatures coming earlier, heat-related illnesses are on the rise- making good hydration very important. But, Mountain Dew’s new ad campaign is down playing the importance of water, which is making Springfield health officials never nervous. The campaign declares that “Water is for Wussys” on numerous venues including bus stop benches and bill boards.
To kick for the campaign Mountain Dew rented out Jordan Valley Park and replaced all water with Mountain Dew.
“Look at how much the kids love this,” states Mountain Dew PR rep Chazz Coolenston. “Playing in the Dew fountain, swimming in the Dew pool. Sure water is ok (he then rolled his eyes), but Mountain Dew is where is at.”
He then shared other variations of the theme: “If you can’t stand the heat…drink some Mountain Dew”, “Nerds drink water, don’t be a nerd”. and “H2O more like H2 Oh-no.”
“Kids are very impressionable,” says Dr. Maxwell. “We have already admitted five middle school students who just biked for miles with only Mountain Dew in their canteens. Sure they were extreme, but their pupils where bright yellow and had to have their veins pumped. Not their stomachs, their veins. I have never seen that before.”
Other problems caused by the effective campaign includes college students fainting in the midst of ultimate Frisbee and extreme hacky sack, grade school students going into shock after an afternoon of tag, and 40 year olds biking to work (for health and to look cool) never making it to their corner offices.
Mountain Dew states they are not going to remove the advertisement and “Springfield needs to get over itself” and “Shut up.”

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