Springfield, MO- Tragedy was adverted yesterday when 8th grader McKenna Barnsworth almost died by embarrassment caused by her totally lame dad, weirdo mother, and freakaziod little brother. Luckily McKenna left the fair before the embarrassment got to lethal levels. “I can’t believe you are doing this to me,” shouted McKenna on the way to the fair. “Ohmygod if I see my friends there I am going to just die. Just. Die.”
Once at the fair McKenna tried many tactics to ease the amounts of chronic embarrassment. She would walk 5 feet behind or ahead of her family, always have a look of disgust on her face, roll her eyes whenever her parents made eye contact, and constantly texted her friends instead of enjoying anything. Not knowing the danger, McKenna‘s parents tried to talk to their daughter.
“Come on princess, this isn’t so bad,” said Mr Barnsworth, “When you were a little girl you love all of this, you ever got your face painted.” The comments nearly caused a fatal dose to McKenna, but luckily she fell into a “humiliation coma” for about 15 minutes and she refused not only communication with her parents, but refused to acknowledge their existence – a tactic that saved her life.
Later the situation would only get worse. “Isn’t that James Thompson who goes to your school?” asked Mrs. Barnsworth. “I recognize him from when I subbed his class. He was so helpful. James. James!”
When James ( a boy who is “totally cute” and whom McKenna has had a crush on for the past two years) turned about, McKenna fell into embarr-pileptic shock: her body quivering with anger and hatred. Luckily the conversation ended quickly preventing any permanent damage. McKenna has been recovering alone in her room with a steady diet of friend’s texts and Angry Birds.
Filed Under: Entertainment
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