Parents Rejoice After Dropping School Kids Off

Parent scream with excitement!

Springfield, MO – The first day of school signals the beginning of individual freedoms for thousands of Ozarks parents across the city. August 15 brings absolute independence from 9-3 Monday – Friday and many parents are eager to taste the sweet liberty that secondary education offers.

“F’ yeah – let’s all go to White Water, tailgating in the parking lot begins now!” screamed one father after dropping his children off at Field Elementary school. “We’re going to Jump Mania for Parent’s Day”, yelled a mother back, “they’re serving margaritas on the inflatable thrones!” Many parents could be seen speeding down the street to their anticipated destination of free reign.

“I love my kids, but I also love the tradition of letting them go to school so I can have a shopping spree without having to wipe anyone’s nose with a skirt from a nearby mannequin,” said Ashley Womberg  in the parking lot of Disney Elementary.

Traditionally, an increase in spending is reported at nearby bars, haberdasheries, retail stores, entertainment venues and movie theaters. “Back to School celebrations are very important to maintain a healthy local economy here in Springfield. We’re usually ready for an increase or influx of funds by the end of the summer. Luckily, our parents save a little bit of spending money for themselves after filling coin purses with milk money,” said City financial consultant Ripley Smitterhorn.