Springfield Youth To Protest RNC and Hurricanes

An elephants head emerges from the Republi-cane

Springfield, MO- With the Republican National Convention and Hurricane Isaac both scheduled to take place this week, many Springfield youths are set to travel to Florida to protest them both. “The Republicans and hurricanes don’t care about poor people,” says protester Gary Morgan, “One destroyed New Orleans, and the other ruined it.”

Many protestors are situated outside the convention center with signs like “Go Home Fascists”, “ Twit Romney”, “Hey Tropical Depression, You Are Bumming Me Out”, “Spit in Their Eye”, and “Low Pressure Equals Low Integrity.” “Those things nearly ruined Florida with their destructive forces and raw power. Also we are not too fond of hurricanes,” said protestor Molly Parslim.

The protesters have to face many challenges. Jeers from the Republican supporters and police oppression are two such challenges. Other challenges include strong winds, horizontal rain, and death by exposure. “The Republican’s stupidity blows me away every time. And the hurricane blows my friends away. As in like they are gone,” says protestor Marvin Scott. “I hope they land in the Socialist paradise that is Cuba with their free health care and palm trees.”

Republicans are not fazed by the protestors. “Those are protesters out there?” says senate hopeful Todd Akins. “Good thing…during legitimate hurricane exposure, the body’s lungs shut down so they don’t drown.”