Mother Nature to Missouri: Is That Enough Water For You, You Babies?

Enough water - yeah?

Springfield, MO- With rain seemingly falling constantly for a period of days, many Ozarkians are wondering why this rain could not come earlier to relieve the drought ridden summer. In yesterday’s press conference Mother Nature was very direct in her answer.
“You whiners complained about no rain all summer. Well, you want some water? Here you go you babies. Drink it up,” Mother Nature told members of the press. “Sorry about the dried up corn. I wonder how you are going to like it when it is a foot underwater.”
Many factors may be leading up Mother Nature’s negative attitude. Some say her on-again-off-again relationship with Father Time has reached a boiling point. Others say it was just “that time of the century”. But, most agree the pressure was getting to her.
“She has a lot on her plate,” says Anna Perenna who is Nature’s personal assistant. “She has to divvy out snow and rain for the world. She is the head of all the flora and fauna committees. And she has a pretty big event planned December 10, 2012, ahead of schedule even.”
Mother Nature tells FCN that now that the rain has stopped she has other plans.
“Let’s see. A lot of you made snaky comments about ‘In Missouri if you don‘t like the weather, wait a while,’” said Mother Nature. “Maybe I will Game of Thrones it up and have 5 years of fall.
Other entities such as Old Man Winter, Father Time, and Jack Frost all tried to talk since into Mother Nature.
“We tell her that human’s complain all the time, not to take it personal,” says Old Man Winter. “I either have kids complain about no snow days or adults complain about the road conditions. You can’t win. The only thing to do is don’t take it personally and freeze as many to death as possible.”

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