Claire McCaskill Plays Hooky From DNC

Claire's antics from last DNC

St. Petersburg, MO- Claire McCaskill decided to play hooky with her friends than go to the “totally boring” snooze feast of the DNC. Senior members of the democratic party are very disappointed in the irresponsible actions of the precocious youth. Claire was not available for comment and allegedly causing mischief all over the Ozarks. The incident started when McCaskill started hanging out with her childhood friend Sweet Apple Lynn. Sweet Apple was known around the small town of Rolla has a “bad influence” and “no good brat”.

“Shoot it ain’t her fault,” said local townsperson Widow Myers. “Her Pap died years ago and her mom is a black out drunk. She has a good heart, but boy howdy when she gets with lil’ Clairey McCaskill, then sparks will fly.”

Senator McCaskill was supposed to board the steam boat to take her to the convention, but she gave the handlers the slip after a brief conversation with Sweet Apple.

“Shoot, Clairey you don’t want to go to the boring ol’ convention, that’s just like school learnin’: pointless and stupid,” said Sweet Apple. “Hang out with me. We can make ourselves a raft and be free and easy on Jackson’s Island.”

After the escape the woman quickly fled into the woods with nothing, but a potato sack filled with corn pone and tobacco. Sources said McCaskill quickly shed her business suit and changed into over-alls and a straw hat.

The woman could be seen all over Missouri playing pranks, trying to get the devil in a dead cat, and constantly faking their own deaths.
“I am she will come back soon,” said President Obama. “Either after she learns a power life lesson, or our secret service agents hunt her down like a animal. Either way works.”

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