Cox Health Opens “The Cup” Sports Medicine Center

Cox's Cup opens in Bone Center

Springfield, MO – Cox Health has opened a new sports medicine center in the Bone & Joint Center on National Street and will be commonly known as the Cup. Cox Health employees will be strictly forbidden to refer to the structure as the Cup, yet many citizens have already latched onto the name.

“The Cox Health Cup is a fantastic idea. It is very important to promote sports safety, recovery and medicine in a protective environment…similar to an athletic cup. Hard on the outside but soft to the touch inside. That’s the way we will provide service to our athletes,” said Dr. Newton Fivasious.
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Critics have expressed concern that Cox has decided to place the Cup inside a Bone Center. “Listen, people are gonna snicker and sneer about the Cox Cup Bone Center but we can only gain attention by our founders hilariously inappropriate name and its association with human anatomy. Who else can say their healthcare provider has a phonetic body part in their name? Buttcheek Health, Knuckle Heath – no. There are no other places like the Cox Cup in Bone Center,” said a spokesperson.

Springfieldians are excited for the opening. “I can’t wait to get a Cox cupcake. Wait. What? This isn’t a cupcake shop named the Cup in a doctor’s office? Well crapcakes,” said Amy Firehouse of Ozark. The new opening will be celebrated this week and attendees will be invited to wear athletic cups on their heads.