Branson, MO – Upon Mitt Romney’s announcement that he’ll fire Big Bird, offers to the beloved Sesame Street icon have been pouring in. FCN has learned exclusively that Mr. Bird has been offered a show in Branson. Mr. Bird commented in an exclusive interview, “I’m in negotiations to take over at Yakov’s theater next year when Romney shuts down Sesame Street. The Ozarks is an awesome place to live and since FOX KRBK hired Snuffy, he’s been hanging out at my nest at the lake, so I get to spend more time with my best friend. I can work with all the great performers of Branson, the medley of family singers, and not to mention, there’s all kind of bird seed available! It’s a win-win.”
Oscar the Grouch stated, “Bird gets another job, so what? I’ll be relocating to Heer’s tower, and I love it because its trash(ed). He can’t get rid me this easily!”
Other offers Big Bird has received include the Springfield Cardinals, Nixa Eagles, and The Post Office. Bird stated, “I looked at those other offers, but I can’t put anyone out of work. Yakov is leaving Branson, so I wouldn’t be displacing him. Besides, birds of a feather flock together. I’m looking forward to entertaining in Branson.” Yakov complimented the change of theatre ownership exlaiming, “What a cockatoo!”
The Big Bird show will open sometime next spring at the Yakov theater in Branson.
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