Black Friday Shoppers Blockade Food Shoppers

 

Y'ain't a'gettin my 'lectronics!

Springfield, MO – Mayhem ensued at one Springfield Walmart when local resident John Turkman needed lightbulbs and Mountain Dew.  Turkman was accosted by in his words, “a redneck family that made you think they were the poster children for the people of Walmart.” Turkman stated, “My living room lamp bulbs hand burned out and I needed some Mountain Dew and Walmart was open.  I showed up at 4pm hoping they’d be able to sell me those items, but the rednecks weren’t going to have anyone get in the way of their cheap TVs and Xboxs.”

Shoppers FCN interviewed noted Turkman had various grocery ads in his hands and appeared to be serious about food buying. One shopper told us, “My husband and I saw this guy with all those coupons and ads in his hand, we thought he might be going for the Black Friday stuff until he uttered that he needed Mountain Dew.  It’s not like he wanted Twinkies, and it was amazing when this one shopper suggested if he wanted ‘Mountain Dew’ he should go to Commercial Street for a Black Friday special and called the guy a pervert for saying he wanted to drink it.”

 

Walmart responded, “We know our shoppers are a little over-the-top at times, and we want to get this family on the People of Walmart as soon as possible.  We want our shoppers to save money and live better, but that doesn’t mean any shopper should have to risk their lives for a cheap TV.”

Turkman ended up at K-Mart, but ended up scaring the employees who were not used to seeing shoppers.

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