Another Earth Day “Party” Dismal Failure

Green paint could dress up the invitation

Springfield, MO- Another Earth Day celebration was a  complete and total disappointment to the chagrin of local naturalist and self-proclaimed neo-hip Gregory Glasswater. Greg always throws an annual “bash” to celebrate the great mother Gaia.

“I don’t get why no one comes to celebrate the wonder and glory of the Earth Mother. I have a organic veggie tray and all the soy milk you can drink. Well not really a veggie ‘tray’ because plates are wasteful, the guest have to pick and eat,” Gregory tells his pet cat, Moonpaw Sunshiek, “What do you know, you spend all day at a free trade coffee house or used book store.”

Glasswater planned many activities to entice his would-be guest. Bobbing for water, tree hugging (literally), and granola wrestling – all planned for the festivity. He was also thinking that if things got wild, guests could play nature charades.

“It is a lot like charades, only the answers are all famous rivers, almost extinct beetles, and types of edible bark,” Glasswater tells a Whole Foods cashier while she checks him out and rolls her eyes, “It is amazing…you should totally come. My tent gets pretty crowded, but my dad is pretty cool if the par-tay spills into his backyard.”

Glasswater was disappointed when not one of his guest showed up even though he handcrafted invitations out of recycled magazine and self-made soy paste.

“There is always next year and by then I will have enough sway in my drum circle to make everyone come,” says Glasswater.