Neon Banking Sign Lights Up Lofts

Bank sign screws up loft dwellers rods and cones

Springfield, MO – Several downtown loft dwellers were upset following the opening of the Great Southern branch across the street from their building, its neon sign lighting up the night and shining checking offers through their bedroom windows.

“At first I was disgusted by the sign, it was so annoying. I couldn’t sleep so I hung a sign protesting the bank out my window that read ‘Bad Banking – Mess You Up!’. Luckily, I switched lofts with my friend Kerry,” said Nellie Howardson, a resident whose Wheeler loft faces directly into the signage.

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After several weeks of neon bank sign exposure, Kerry began displaying erratic behavior, opening doors without knocking, making sliding entrances and complaining that she “can’t eat, can’t sleep and can only see the neon sun of the bank sign…my rods and cones are all screwed up!”

Kerry insisted that she switch back to her loft and Howardson return to hers after Howardson’s porcelain doll, Mrs. Jingles came to life and pitter-pattered across the wooden floor.